I’m a reformed heavy drinker – nearly 3 years sober – and working out what to do with the rest of my life. Where I am now is exciting, but it’s also tinged with regret, for all the years I spent being ruled by the joys of alcohol. Where might I be now? I sometimes ask myself that question on the daily commute to my place of work as a temporary low level tele-sales executive. I am temping while I work out what I want to do next. It’s easy work with no responsibilities, and I get paid weekly. But the boredom and repetition of pointless sales calls eats away at me. On the 8.17 from Denmark Hill to Victoria, I try to work out where I could have taken my career had it not been constantly overshadowed by my desire for alcohol.
I am grateful that being in my 50s, with no dependents and a bar tab that’s always on zero, I am able to take a casual approach to my income. The downside is that I am bored and unfulfilled. It’s like being a teenager all over again. Thank God for my home life and partner.
But I don’t need reminding that not drinking has given me new powers. It’s as if I’ve been given a missing limb back after 3 decades of struggle. Sometimes, at the end of a night of socialising, I get into my car to go home and it feels like I have been given the ability to fly. It hasn’t worn off yet, and I don’t think it ever will.
I hope that Not Alcoholic, But… will help all those people who are worried about their alcohol consumption to figure out the truth behind their own relationship with alcohol and what they want to do about it – objectively and without pressure.